There comes a point in that search for yourself(?) or your purpose(?) or your car keys(?!) where you start to come across things over and over and over again.

It pisses me off mostly because I feel like I’m wasting MORE time. I’m getting more impatient with myself. People say, ‘you’re young’ and ‘you have time’, but I don’t want to end up like those who thought they had all the time in the world and put off the search, or the pursuit so much so that it’s gotten to the point they feel like they’re too old to try again. I’m not that sloppy.

This is imperative because I feel useless without a purpose. I know I’m not a useless person. Nor do I lack value. But something’s still missing. Most likely on my part.

Because of the fact I’m coming across things that I’ve seen before, it’s becoming more and more obvious to me that I already have the tools I need. It’s just time to use them.

I was watching a video featuring Alexander Roy today, and he said something that unintentionally struck a chord. “Know your tools,” he says. “A tool is only as effective as the user’s knowledge of it.” To me this means that you need to know, not only what the tool was made to do, but also how and why that tool is able to be used to achieve other, indirectly related, goals.

I believe that I have a LOT more tools at my disposal than most people I know, but my limitation could be that I’ve not yet fully made the connection all of their uses and how they’re able to work.

It may be time for some refinement. Usage and implementation. I have to put these tools to use.

There’s a fuzzy picture coming together that I want to be my life. The image won’t become any clearer with me letting my toolbox gather dust.



  1. You are young, Brandon. This means that you’ll have to recreate yourself a few times, take some risks, try a few things and make some mistakes before you’ll find IT. No one has life figured out at 23/24. You should continue your pursuit of IT but always remember that you are in that quarter life crisis era where the uneasiness starts to develop, you start to wonder if you made a mistake that brought you to this period of ambiguity. You haven’t made a mistake. Think of something you absolutely love doing and would do for free and use the tools you have acquired to better it. I believe that in your search for your purpose, you’ll realize that you are really creating it.

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